Cool Kids Don't Need Someone Else to Establish a Beat

Nothing like a big controversy offering up mean-spirited sound bytes from a vilified CEO to remind more than half of us in the mid-life adult population just why we hated middle school or junior high.

First, let me say, I believe in capitalism.  I don’t think that any company should be forced to produce or offer any goods outside of its plan, beyond its wheelhouse or that it can’t sell to its target market.  A good company knows its audience.

With that said though, clearly there are some people just so insanely insensitive that they shouldn’t go out in public, let alone run those companies like that.

You could be living under a rock if you’ve missed the flap over a certain mall-based clothing store (which means you probably aren’t reading this blog either).  For reasons that escape me, some fairly older, ridiculously insensitive comments by this chain’s CEO are currently causing a stir.  These aren’t new comments, but they are certainly making news right now.

What did this opinionated leader allegedly say to a magazine a few years back? (Note, I am not printing his name or that of the publication. Frankly, I don’t need to give them any free promotion.)

"In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids," Mr. So & So supposedly told such & such magazine.  "Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes], and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely."

Who knows whether this was taken out of context? Regardless of the context, the reason any CEO would spout such rhetoric doesn’t actually escape me at all.  Hello … Marketing 101.  How much free publicity has X Brand store received in the last 10 days?   Boo-ya! Or maybe, Cha-ching… straight from the cash register.

This company has a defined market.   That market is made up of people of a certain size. That market is made up of young people.   Those things are no real surprise.  Most successful retailers do have their own demographics.  Lane Bryant sells clothing for plus-sized women.  Men’s Warehouse isn’t exactly selling clothes for 3 yr. old ballerinas.

But you don’t hear the bigwigs at Men’s Warehouse belittling female toddlers for not being the right size, shape or gender to wear their clothes.  Or, Lane Bryant execs saying rude things about skinny 20 year-old men, which is why I don’t mind the names of these stores here at all.  Not all companies need leaders blathering on to promote their products.  Instead they have other well-reasoned marketing plans.

THAT is the difference and the REAL story here.

The market for the store in the controversy undoubtedly contains a fair number of impressionable parrots who will take the attitude of the poorly spoken CEO to heart. After all, that is exactly how 7^th grade bullies … I mean popular kids… roll.  And, those kids just usually steam roll right through high school and into college.  Who doesn’t remember those “cool kids” from middle school?  We all experienced them. (Well, if you didn’t, that means you were probably one of them.) And, most of us didn’t like them all that well. And, frankly, many of us wouldn’t trade places with many of those kids as today’s grown-ups, even if they were “all that” back in the day.

Which is why we’re raising our daughters to walk the middle ground.  These girls frankly have already defined themselves as “cool.”  Actually, I think my soon-to-be-freshman girl prefers to say, “’Cuz I’m just awesome like that.”

These girls have a bevy of friends. And, I’m proud to say that these friends come from all walks of life.  My children are comfortable speaking to adults and will not ignore adults as some in the current popular ranks of junior high students are wont to do.  I’m not sure how it happened, but these girls are comfortable in their own skin.  Our pastor recently complimented our 14 year old’s poise and presence.  She called our daughter a good kid.  And, she saluted us as parents for raising her that way. Shhh … don’t tell Pastor Janet, but I don’t know how much of K’s ability to impress adults has anything to do with us.  I think we just happened to win the parent lottery.

These girls are bright and droll and can be wicked funny.  They have kick-ass attitudes … well … most of the time. Let’s face it, they are 11 and 14, and all kids that age, especially girls, have crappy attitudes some times. It comes with the territory. 

Know what kids with good heads on their shoulders call the people in Mr. CEO’s preferred market?  “Perps.”  Yep, short for perpetrators.  Not everyone thinks the popular kids are all that.  Apparently, not every middle school girl aspires to be the kind of person in Mr. CEO’s preferred market, even if they are the right size.

How cool is that?

Here’s some of what my girls have had to say about Mr. So & So:

-“Man, that dude’s old.”

-“Has he looked in a mirror lately? ‘Cuz he kinda scares me.”

-“That’s not a cool thing to say.”

But, the best is this comment from my 14 year old,   “There’s a reason I like Hollister, Aeropostale and Charlotte Russe better.”

Are you paying attention Mr. So & So?

Cool is in the eye of the beholder.  And you clearly don’t pass the test among some of the coolest kids I know.  Remember, pretty soon, your currently cool shopping demographic will get older, put on weight and become middle aged. Then, they won’t be suitable customers for your chain’s “cool” products. 

Let’s hope Marketing 101 doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass.  You might gain some sales now but don’t count on kids like mine to be your customers in 10 years. 

Frankly, they are smarter than that, which is the ultimate in cool.  ‘Cuz they are just awesome like that.

Truth Is … Writing is the Scariest Thing Ever

I recently read some truths about writing.

Truth is … these aren’t my original thoughts.  These words, however, do speak to my own feelings, feelings I wrongly assumed were original – and limited - to me. Turns out, however, that other aspiring writers must harbor some of these same feelings.

Truth is… these thoughts aren’t my original words because I’m not particularly geared to produce this type of writing.  Still, these words by Joe Bunting on thewritepractice.com express my feelings so perfectly that might as well have penned them:

The Truth About Your Story

-“You will never be ready to write your story.”

-“You will never have enough time.”

-“The fear won’t go away.”

-“It’s time to stop making excuses for yourself. It’s time to come out of hiding.”

-“Your story was meant to be shared. What are you waiting for?”

Bunting’s words speak to my fears.  More importantly, they call out my excuses.

Truth is … words like this than inspire seem to come along at the right time to motivate me. While they may not fully motivate me to action, at least they keep me from totally abandoning my dream.

Truth is, however, I am unable to embrace these words of wisdom and truly live them. 

Truth is, I am still scared to jump off into the unknown when it comes to my writing ideas.   Oh, I write daily. I turn out items such as press releases, business profiles, testimonials, events coverage and pitch letters without so much as a second thought.

But, pursue my ideas for a book?  I procrastinate, dither and avoid. I understand that failing to act is an action in and of itself.  No words – not even the ones from Bunting to which I repeatedly return - have yet propelled me past my own fears.

What if no wants to read it?  What if someone becomes upset that I gave voice to the subject matter? Really, how do I possibly think I’d be qualified to tackle this subject?  

Truth is, those are the questions I struggle with daily.  Somehow, though, I keep returning to Bunting’s final query….

“Your story was meant to be shared. What are you waiting for?”

Truth is, that’s a pretty good question. Truth is, I don’t really know.

Trying Not to Strike a Sour Note

"… ’A gift isn't a gift if it's an obligation,’ say etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh. …”

“You only have so much free time.”

I recently read those words in an article on CNN.com. They continue to bounce around in my head as I struggle not to feel guilty about no longer always being at everyone else’s beck and call.  After years of volunteering for as much as possible, contributing to as much as possible, helping out committees of which I am not even a member and generally being immediately accessible to answer questions, dole out advice and more, learning to say no has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced.

But why?

If you are a serial over-committer, you probably lack the simple skill of being able to say no.  You feel bad about not helping.  You don’t want to make others mad.  You avoid conflict whenever possible.  Saying “sure, I’ll help you out” is the way around all of those negatives. 

When you begin to refocus your priorities, if you are like me, you feel incredibly guilty.  Learning to say “no” after years of always saying yes is no mean feat.  And, if you are like me, choosing to invest time in something such as getting healthy, working out, redirecting financial priorities or following a lifelong dream may just seem selfish. 

I’m struggling to remember it isn’t.  It has been helpful to recognize that some of the snarky reactions I receive when I say “no, I’m sorry, I won’t be able to take that on” are based on other people’s own selfishness.  Others don’t like to have their time and their priorities cut into.  Therefore, we over-committers need to remember that these same folks don’t seem to have a problem cutting into our time and priorities.

Each day on this new journey is a challenge. Here are some of the tools and thoughts I try to incorporate as the map and traffic signs of this new journey.

Prioritize.   For me, prioritizing means more than simply juggling all the balls in the air.  Sometimes, you have to learn to put yourself first. That may mean taking a few balls out of the rotation. Trouble is … if you’ve always responded with “sure, I’ll help you out” or if you’ve always run here or there because that is what works in someone else’s schedule, people just expect you to continue to do it. 

Remember Nancy Reagan.  Her drug prevention slogan was pretty simple:  “Just say no!”  Practice “no, thank you.”  It’s simple enough.  But, it’s still hard.  Remember the adage:  practice makes perfect.

Remember, saying “no” is not mean.  It is not selfish. Opting out of a task that will have costs may mean you are finally putting your family’s finances first.  Politely declining to add to your workload means you are simply making time for other activities.  Sometimes these priorities are parts of life others simply take for granted. After all, if others have no problem going to sleep at regular times or think having family meals is a normal part of life, then why shouldn’t you? Your health should be just as important to you as theirs is to them.  Remember, your family wants you to participate in their lives, to engage with them … just as other people’s families do.  If the people asking you for output aren’t taking “work” to Saturday morning soccer games, then why on earth should they be allowed to overburden you to the point where you have to?

Put yourself first.  If everyone else can, why can’t you?  If someone else thinks his or her schedule is more important, then you shouldn’t feel guilty if you start to finally place some importance on your own schedule.

Have a schedule.  Keep a calendar handy.  Note the time you need for things you want to accomplish – from making a family meal to having time for daily exercise.  Put everything on your calendar.  The next time someone asks you for something, say, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”  Then do just that. Taking time to look at your calendar that already has all the little boxes crammed full gives you perspective. 

Set “volunteer hours.”  When people call you for something, let them know that you’ll be happy to speak to them during your regular volunteer time.  Set a time.  Put it on your calendar.  If you stop always being available instantaneously, perhaps people will stop always taking advantage. Remember, you don’t need to make everyone else’s priority your own!  After all, these people do not care about your priorities. 

To do just that – keeping to my schedule – I’ve found it helpful to keep this little ditty in the back of my mind:

“Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

Repeat.

Repeat repeatedly as needed.

Remember also that respect is a two-way street.  If you are disrespected over and over by those to whom you have given much, then walk away.  They can learn to do it themselves. 

You only get one life.  If everyone else wants to keep their own priorities, then learn to tell them "no" so you can keep to your own.  No one is going to get healthy for you.  No one can spend time with your family for you.  No one can sleep for you.  But, you can learn to make those things your own priority. 

Re-read.  Repeat.  Repeat repeatedly until you are able to ... finally .... just say "No."

Laying Down Important Countermelodies

"All you have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to you."

  ~ Gandalf in "The Fellowship of the Ring"

Clearly, I need to work on that.  Or, do I?

Earlier this year, I made a commitment to do more writing for myself.  Not the kind I get paid for necessarily. Although, more of that would be nice, too.  I had planned to write as a way to stretch my skills, keep myself focused and remind myself of my goals and plans.  Perhaps I might create some pieces along they way that would serve to inspire, at least myself if not others.

Yet, my last post here was more than 11 weeks ago.  Have I fallen prey to that very problem I wanted this blog to help me avoid?  I’m not sure what to call that problem.  Complacency?  Sloth?

If there is an underlying issue that held my writing here back, it’s probably rooted in more fear than I care to admit.  Fear that no one will read. Fear that I have nothing to say.  Fear that I’m not good enough.  Clearly, I need to address those fears.

Still, I don’t know that the last 11 weeks have been time wasted. I’ve actually committed some of my time to other important aspects of self-care.  I am seeing solid results related to those goals.  I know these efforts will ultimately support the professional writing and involvement goals I made for 2013.

So, maybe I haven’t missed Gandalf’s point at all.  Maybe the point was that it was finally time to decide to commit MY time to myself and MY priorities.  This has been a year of deciding to make myself a priority. While I’ve not written here for 11 weeks, I have done other professional writing and made notable strides in improving other areas of myself.   It’s funny that those efforts are now leading me back to my original writing goals. 

Perhaps, what Gandalf didn’t say was that deciding what to do with your time might actually be a process.  It does feel a bit like an unknown journey when you’ve spent many, many years letting others dictate what you should do with your own time.

Maybe what I’ve been doing for the last 11 weeks is laying down some nice back beat or counter melody that will ultimately let me better share the cadence that is in my head.   

Only time will tell.  I better get on making some decisions about what to do with that time.

For Wont of a Nice Notepad and a Wide-Armed Chair Instead of a Desk

I recently read somewhere that there just might be studies around showing that writers create differently depending on whether they are typing or writing by hand. 

Our trusty computers.  Oh, how we have become dependent upon them.  I catch myself marveling at the speed with which my fingers have come to fly over the keyboard. I delight in, that with just a few strokes, I can quickly change a thought, erase a typo or correct a grammar error.

I am quick to turn to an online dictionary or thesaurus. I think their ready availability is a boon to my writing.

Or, is it?

Now, with thoughts of some unknown study results sneaking into my consciousness, I wonder: have I forgotten how to write freely, never worrying about mistakes, not tempted to research a substitute word?

I don’t know. However, I think I just might try my own non-scientific study. Perhaps I’ll do some writing by hand, either with real work assignments or practice exercises or maybe both.  After all, Laura Ingles Wilder wrote the “Little House” series by hand in pads of paper she balanced on the extra-wide wood arms of the chair Almonzo made for her.  A chair specifically for her writing.  A chair I now covet.

I may share my different samples with my readers and let them judge whether I create differently.

Of course, I will have to type them first.

And, darn, I’d be lying if I didn’t say such a two-step process seems like a waste of time.

I wonder, is there a study

The Scoring May Be Jacked ... But I Still Like It!

  -->

Evolution.  Progress.  Modernization.  The beat may go on and on, but it certainly does change over time. 

According to those in the know, at least around these parts, marching band is not the animal I remember.  In fact, as nearly as I can tell, it might not even be the same species any more. 

Who knew?

I learned some interesting, interesting things today.

•Marching band field shows are competitive OR they are crowd friendly.  They cannot be both.  Crowds at football games don’t appreciate competitive field shows.

•Competitive marching bands don’t adequately support the Friday night football experience, which is specifically what a marching band should do.

•Marching band competitions provide little value or meaningful feedback. The scoring is jacked.

•The reason high school band directors don’t have long careers is because marching band sucks the life out of them.

•You can buy a show entire field show in a box for $200.  That’s what normal bands do. Freakishly winning-obsessed bands? They pay thousands upon thousands of dollars for their show and each piece … drum book, ensemble book, field show design … comes separately and will break the bank. 

•Winning marching bands practice obsessively to the exclusion of all else.  To win, a band must practice way, way, way more than non-winning bands.  In fact, competitive classes at competitions should be broken down by how much bands practice, not by band size, not by school size. 

•If trombones are God’s instrument, then the saxophone is the bubonic-plague-carrying rat poo on the bottom of the devil’s shoe … or worse.

•Concert band is the single most important thing a high school band can do.  Period. End of discussion.

•Indiana and Texas are the best states for marching band.

•Many students are not familiar with Bands of America.  No matter.  It’s not all it’s cracked up to be any way.  Band students don’t need exposure to BoA because it has a marching focus and a competitive nature.   Refer to the concert band point as well as the point about the lack of value in marching competition.

•High school band directors have to be unbiased, never favoring one component of their program over the other.

•Winning high school marching bands have a large staff.  Drawing upon volunteers – usually former band members – isn’t always possible.  Or, if possible, it might not be wanted.

•High school marching bands can have directors who never, ever marched.

Clearly, things have changed dramatically over the years.

Or, have they? 

Call me a skeptic, but I’m not convinced.  In fact, I am so much not convinced that I think I’ve found my book.   I had a mission when I started this research project, but now I think I have two.  And, a point to make.

My hackles are up.  How did I forget that … at heart … I am a marching band girl? Although I might have forgotten that tidbit, other matters have not slipped my mind. I still don’t suffer excuses well. 

Perhaps that is just where my growing need to write a book comes in. Thank goodness I’m not a high school band director.  I can … and will … be as biased as I want.

Oh … and to my fellow marching band alumni.  If you are reading this, I know your hackles are up now, too.  You are welcome.  

Band, ten-hut!

Yes, An Imagination CAN Be Too Good

Every story needs a good villain. Or, if not a truly detestable villain, then at least a quality, easy-to-hate protagonist.  Every story needs a plot. After all, there must be a problem to overcome. 

Then why do I feel guilty trying to research the one bit of my story idea that will give it depth and make it a story with truly broader appeal?

I want to know more about poison, the kind of poison that works gradually over time with repeated but small exposure.  I have a computer.  I have a great Internet service provider.  I have time.  What I lack, apparently, is courage.

The issue? Yes, I am chicken. And, I have a more vivid imagination than I realized. And, I like to read thrillers. 

Who knew I would be scared to research poisons? Clearly, I’ve read too many who-done-it books where the protagonist – the hero, the good guy – runs into trouble and is framed for a crime he didn’t commit.    You know the scenario because you’ve already ready the book: a thriller in which a writer researching something for a magazine article like … oh, I don’t know… poison! … has his browser’s search history used against him when he’s framed by his wife for attempted murder.

Hmmm.   Maybe a romance would be easier after all.  

Self Care - Different Strokes for Different Folks

I keep my Facebook accounts open as background to my daily work.  For me, that’s a mental health necessity. I’m literally tied to my computer most days any way. Without FB in the background, I can go all day without any type of social interaction, which makes me C-R-A-Z-Y … or at least crazier than normal.

Even super busy, my mind works a million miles a minute so little nuggets seep into my head from ye old social networking site even when I’m not paying attention as I pound out 5 or 6 or 7 press releases and articles a day.

Recently, the following gem from among the comments on a friend’s post stuck in my head:

“The prevalence of flu and illness is all the more reason everyone should make rest and self-care a priority.”

That ditty has now combined with another gem that caught me eye recently:

“It’s January ‘x’ (insert a date). Take down your Christmas decorations, people.”

I know.  Those things don’t seem to have much in common.  How on earth do I make a connection?

Simple ….

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?  Am I the only person who marvels at the time others seems to have?  Time to post routinely on FB, more than a super quick “like”? Time to exercise, eat right, drink plenty of water and rest?  Shoot, I don’t even remember the last time that 6 hours wasn’t the very maximum amount of time I had for sleep.  That’s as well-rested as I can get. And, usually, I’m not even that well rested.

And Christmas decorations?   It’s January NOT July.  Seriously, if you’ve got time on your hands to worry about someone else’s holiday decorations, please, come on over.  You can deal with my piles of holiday ornaments, fripperies and frills waiting to be boxed and put away.  Me … I have to work and then run kids and then care for show horses.  Not to mention writing a blog nearly daily so that maybe, just maybe, I can keep one of my new year’s resolutions for 2013.

Am guessing I’ll fail. Maybe I should have made my resolution not to worry about when others take down their holiday decorations. That one, I could keep!

Scatter Drills

I’m not a doctor, but I often play one in my head.  My latest diagnosis? Cleaning and organizational AD/HD.  That’s my non-clinical, unprofessional diagnosis for a particular neuroses that plagues me.

I know I am not alone.  Please, tell me I am not alone.

I start to do “x”.  In order to finish “x”, I realize “b” is in the way.  To deal with “b”, first have to handle “1a”.  In taking are of “1a”, I discover than “#42” didn’t happen and is now past due.

Wait… now the dog has to go out.

What was I doing?  Oh, yes: “x”.   Did I finish “#42”? Yes, but “1a” is not complete.   I finish it and go back to “x.”  Wow, I still have to do 1, 2 & 3 for “x.” It surely is time consuming. 

Now it’s time for dinner.  But, it’s getting dark so I should go out and take care of the outside chores and barn work immediately.  Shoot, forgot to ask hubby to fill the water tank. Guess I will haul water from the house. That doesn’t make chores take twice as long or anything.

Chores accomplished.  Start dinner.  Get sidetracked by a message for something urgent that needs my immediate attention. Realize my phone case is shattered. When did that happen?

What is that I smell burning?

Dinner done.  Ignore the dishes and hope one of the other 3 people in this house will see to them.

What was I doing?

“X”!

“x”?

What in the name of God was “x”?

Did I mention I still need to take down and put away our Christmas decorations?

I need a drink.  A margarita sounds good.

I think I need strawberries…..

Elephant in the Room - A Comfy One at That

There is a refrigerator in the other room. While it’s not calling my name at the moment, I’m pretty sure the couch in front of the warm woodstove is.  I hear it hailing me, calling for my immediate presence.  The sun is shining in the big picture window.  I could contentedly curl up like a cat … while away an afternoon reading a book in the warmth and the sunlight.  

Reading a book.  That qualifies as research, right?  Reading professionally crafted and commercially printed prose would surely, in the end, help me as I craft my own, right?

Darned those pesky New Year’s resolutions.  I resolved to limit my relationship with my couch in an effort to boost productivity… which I desparately need because I’ve got a deadline for two dozen super low-paying articles on a subject I care nothing about (and know even less about) breathing down my neck.

Does my couch miss me?

I know I miss it.

#6 - 1/6/2013 

The Steady Beat of Maybe, Maybe, Maybe, Maybe

Do what you love, and the money will follow.  We’ve all heard that well-worn adage dozens of times. But, I’ve got questions.  How far behind is the money following?  Is it on an alternative path?  Does it have a map?  How about a GPS? Does it need my address? Is it in pesos? Confederate dollars? What?

Just wondering.

I have been writing for more than 15 years. I am tired of being poor.  Perhaps I should reduce what I am giving away.

Or, maybe I should finally write a book.   

Maybe I should have done it years ago. Today, everyone is a writer.  Just ask them.  Still, most folks don’t know how to properly create the plural of their own names and, more often than not, they lazily substitute “your” when they mean “you’re.”

Maybe I should start a social media page about that.

Maybe I should write a book.

Maybe I should blog about the negative impact the proliferation of electronic media has had on punctuation and the proper use of pronouns versus contractions.

Maybe I should write a book.  One about something for which I am passionate.  Okay, well, maybe at least interested in.

Maybe I should offer to coach and edit for folks for free.  Wait.  I already do that. Certainly, no money is following that.  And, not gonna lie … I HATE IT!

Maybe I should write a book.  Maybe, just maybe.

Maybe someone will take exception if the book in my head morphs into words on paper.

Maybe I shouldn’t care.

I wonder if anyone will buy it?

I just hope they won’t pay with Monopoly money … or the Greek drachma.

--> #5 – 1/5/2013  

Tools for Marking Time & Charting Course

Do you keep a journal nearby, readily available when you want … no need … to jot something down?  You should.   Otherwise, if you are like me, it is not possible to remember every great idea, pithy turn of phrase, witty observation or critical “to do” list addition that pops into – and then out of - your head. Without documentation, those important yet fleeting thoughts have a way of disappearing like Alice down the rabbit hole: in your head somewhere, but lost in the colorful, hazy, obscure reaches of your mind. 

Or, do you carry a planner to quickly note the dates and deadlines that pile up in your head?

I do.  Well, I should.  Sifting out the flotsam of deadlines, events and must-do activities frees up more space for creative thinking.  Well, that’s my theory any way, one I should put into practice.  I have a planner.  Trouble is, I routinely move my planner-cum-calendar.  Is it on my desk?  In my purse? In my briefcase? In my vehicle?

This year, I’m going to keep better track of my planning calendar.  Just as soon as find the slippery creature.

Same goes for a journal.  I will get one.  And, I will use it. 

Just yesterday, I stood in the local variety store pondering which notebook or diary would work best.  Do I get multiple small ones for the various things I want to keep track of?  Would a notebook small enough to fit into my purse yet featuring multiple pages and dividers work?  Like many writers, I coveted something with a leather cover, with thick, quality paper and without a spiral binding.  Of course, as often as I misplace my journal and as often as my purse is home to pounds of detritus … napkins to medicines to food to just about anything that can accompany the words, “Here, Mom, hold this will ya?” … splurging on a beautiful diary is probably wasteful at best and insane at worst.

So, I left my neighborhood retailer without a new notebook and continued my errands.  Of course, as I zipped from the post office to the pharmacy and beyond, I noted a millions things I simply MUST remember … blog ideas, research points for a project, things to tell people, items to enter into my planner (which still hasn’t made its way back into my purse.).

Of course, I was without a journal. After all, I couldn’t purchase THE perfect one at my local store. 

So, I did what I always do, scratching down barely legible notes on my go-to documentation material: the fast food napkin.

Now, if I can only find where I put the damned thing!

Ignoring All the Good Blogging Advice

There is plenty advice online about blogging, starting a blog, branding your blog, finding a niche for your blog, attracting readers and more.  God knows there are plenty of blogs about blogging! 

Trouble is, right now I want to write. I don’t want to be a business person figuring out strategy.  I’m writing for myself now.  I just want to use my writing as the way itself to determine my brand and find my niche.  I can’t worry about my audience just yet.  And, let me tell you, all of that violates all kinds of advice lists on blogs about blogging!

Sure, I have things I’m passionate about.  Or, at least I was passionate about.  Or, thought I was passionate about. Or, maybe wonder if I ought to be passionate about. That’s not to mention all the things OTHERS assume I either am or should be passionate about.

Mostly, I’m just confused. 

What’s my niche?  I don’t know just yet.  I love to write, but I certainly do not think I am one to give advice about it.  And, I might not be good at it given how poorly I do with all of the "hey coulda look at this letter/essay/resume/application requests" I get.  Those?  Mostly I just want to rewrite.

Society show horses, their history and their competitions have consumed my life for years.  My former strong interest in marching bands and drum corps is on the upswing in my life right now for a number of very divergent reasons.  

If I can figure out how to do it, any blog that mostly combines horses and horse show history with marching bands and marching band history … well, I’d say that I would have that little unique niche all to myself.

#3 - 1/3/2013

The March of Time Is No Excuse

“Focus on a passion, not the passing of days.”  That was a bit of advice from a Monster.com article for job seekers that I recently edited for use in a major newspaper … a minor assignment with even more minor pay. 

Most days my life seems stuck in the minors … minor league, second-string, nonessential.  I’m paralyzed with too many tasks, assignments, “hey, could yous” that are minor in every way but the amount of time they consume. 

I am often stymied by the feeling that life might accidentally have already passed me by. That the major league is out of my reach now. 

Focus on a passion, not the passing of days. That quote sent me searching.  There are plenty of writers who didn’t hit their strides as writers until their late 30s, throughout their 40s or into their 50s.  Laura Ingalls Wilder is one of the most famous. I loved “Angela’s Ashes” but Frank McCourt didn’t publish it until he was in his 60s.  Michener was 40 when his first book was published.   Richard Adams didn’t publish “Watership Down” until he was in his early 50s.

Like most of these individuals, I have years of writing, editing or other related experience.  I’m not embarking on a writing career late in life.  I’m simply starting down a new writing path.

I’ve watched from a distance as a vague acquaintance of mine – similar in age  — has pursued this same path. Is her achievement enough to goad me on? To propel me to shoot for something more major?

Looking for more encouragement, I found that articles about older entrepreneurs abound. Turns out, entrepreneurs beyond the age of 35 have recently been accounting for 80% of new business start ups.  The stats on the growth and success rates of these “gray” businesses are more than encouraging.  Seems like the mature entrepreneurs have much greater success than their younger counterparts.

So there it is.  Age is not a reason.  It’s an excuse.

Guess I’m officially running thin on excuses.

More importantly, turn outs … I’m in pretty good company.


#2 - 1/2/2013 

A Beat Gone Missing

1/1/2013 ~ #1

My life is out of step. Cadences flit through my head.  Some are distant memories; some, fragments of former hopes; some, memories bubbling up from the past; some, shards of broken dreams. Too often, the cadence resembles only painful throbbing as I am crushed by the interminable tasks of a mundane life.

I need to make that slight skip and put myself back in step. But first, I must find my cadence.

Cadence ….

The rhythmic flow of sounds or words.

Cadence ….

The beat of any rhythmic movement.

Cadence…

The flow or rhythm of life and experience.

Early in my life as a budding writer, the word cadence was clear to me.  It was the beat laid down by the drumline in my high school’s powerhouse marching band. Loud.  Sure. Defining.  It was the direction of strong leadership.  It was the promise of tomorrow. It was also the desire to leave, to move on.  It was made strong by the need to take flight.

Strong cadences kept me moving forward … out of school … into adulthood.

Those strong cadences, however, faded away, replaced by the ever-changing yet stiflingly similar patterns of life. College, career, marriage, kids, church, after-school activities, volunteer work, accidents, economic downturns … the conflicting melodies of life… all beating a tattoo. Together, they were marching me forward at light speed while simultaneously grinding me down at a snail’s pace.

Word’s were always the instrument that propelled me forward. They were my personal rhythm, and I used them for years within a world that moved with its own strong two- and four-beat gaits. Then… the tempo of my life faltered, changed direction, stopped.  Still, the rhythms of that world call to me.  But with forced distance, I can now hear a different, albeit distant, drum.  In fact, I hear several.

What cadence will propel me forward?  Will I continue to move in repeated step, taking direction from nothing more than an old, wrinkled, faded and out of date chart?  Or, will an entirely different rhythm set me on a new course?

I’m out of step. But, I know it now.  I feel that little skip starting to break through.  Will there be an about face or a flank?  Where will the steps lead?

The only thing I know for sure: words will be the cadence that smooths whatever move I make.