~
Gandalf in "The Fellowship of the Ring"
Clearly, I need to work on that. Or, do I?
Earlier this year, I made a commitment to do more writing
for myself. Not the kind I get
paid for necessarily. Although, more of that would be nice, too. I had planned to write as a way to
stretch my skills, keep myself focused and remind myself of my goals and
plans. Perhaps I might create some
pieces along they way that would serve to inspire, at least myself if not
others.
Yet, my last post here was more than 11 weeks ago. Have I fallen prey to that very problem
I wanted this blog to help me avoid?
I’m not sure what to call that problem. Complacency?
Sloth?
If there is an underlying issue that held my writing here
back, it’s probably rooted in more fear than I care to admit. Fear that no one will read. Fear that I
have nothing to say. Fear that I’m
not good enough. Clearly, I need
to address those fears.
Still, I don’t know that the last 11 weeks have been time
wasted. I’ve actually committed some of my time to other important aspects of
self-care. I am seeing solid
results related to those goals. I
know these efforts will ultimately support the professional writing and
involvement goals I made for 2013.
So, maybe I haven’t missed Gandalf’s point at all. Maybe the point was that it was finally
time to decide to commit MY time to myself and MY priorities. This has been a year of
deciding to make myself a priority. While I’ve not written here for 11 weeks, I
have done other professional writing and made notable strides in improving
other areas of myself. It’s
funny that those efforts are now leading me back to my original writing
goals.
Perhaps, what Gandalf didn’t say was that deciding what to
do with your time might actually be a process. It does feel a bit like an unknown journey when you’ve spent
many, many years letting others dictate what you should do with your own time.
Maybe what I’ve been doing for the last 11 weeks is laying
down some nice back beat or counter melody that will ultimately let me better
share the cadence that is in my head.
Only time will tell. I better get on making some decisions about what to do with that time.
Only time will tell. I better get on making some decisions about what to do with that time.
