Advance Planning Keeps The Christmas Beat Merry!

 

Heading out for New Year’s Eve? Taking down your holiday decorations? Planning to wrap up your holiday celebrations soon?

While winding up the 2014 holiday season, take time for a little reflection of your recent holiday experiences. Then, combining the lessons learned with a bit of forwarding thinking can help make your 2015 Christmas a little merrier ... or at least a bit less stressful. Here are some tips and suggestions of steps to take now to better prepare for next Christmas.

Organize and de-clutter your decorations...

As you take down your holiday decorations, take time to thoroughly inspect them. Toss out anything that isn’t working or that has seen better days. Make a note of what you have to replace. Then, repack and organize your decorations to make unpacking next year easier. Be sure to label boxes.

Take advantage of after-Christmas sales ...

If you discarded worn-out decorations, be sure to check the after Christmas sales for any deals to help you replace them. Also, take advantage of the deep discounts on wrapping paper and other Christmas supplies that year-end sales offer.  Just don’t over do it and end up with a wrapping paper hoard!

Review and take notes ...

Do you have trouble remembering from one year to the next how much you made or bought or ordered of something? Make a note or two of the important things you need to remember and put them some where you can find them ... perhaps a notebook stored with your Christmas decorations or in the “notes” of your planner.  The reference will come in handy when trying to remember whether you gave the school bus driver a gift or how many plates of Christmas cookies you need to bake. Need another example of how making such notes can reduce stress? Our extended family often orders specialty pizzas for our after-Christmas get together and gift exchange. Rather than struggle to remember what we ordered and what everyone actually ate next time around, I noted what we ordered, what was most popular and what we had left over.

Note anything you need to replace next year but couldn’t find in this year’s after-holiday sales. 

Make a list of gifts that were really well received. Or, if you learned some things about gift preferences during this year’s exchanges, note those for next year, too.

Do a holiday review .....

What went really well this Christmas? What didn’t really work at all? What are the things that caused the most stress or arguments?  What things were most important to your family?  Gather all of your family members together and find out what they’d love to do again next year and what they’d be okay skipping in the future. This may help you reduce the stress of over committing during the busy holidays.

Consider a Christmas planner....

About the recommendation for notes and finding them later that I mentioned earlier? Put all of your notes in a single notebook or binder.  You could store your new “Christmas Planner” with your decorations, but for year-round access, consider putting this planner in your desk or where you keep your address book or bills or such.

Plan ahead ...

Think of things you can do a little along and try to take care of those things once a month throughout the year. For example, mark one day each month in your new yearly planner to make notes for your holiday letter or to sort some of your photos that you might want for a Christmas card. 

Start saving now....

Help take a bite out of the financial sting of Christmas shopping by planning ahead. Consider opening a Christmas savings account if your financial institution offers those.  Total what you spent this year and come up with a plan to save at least that much. Financial guru Dave Ramsey recommends calculating this year’s spending total and then dividing that total by the number 10. Then, put that smaller figure aside every month from January through October (10 months of smaller payments) so you are ready to Christmas shop late next fall.

Winning strides start in the heart

It’s a game of superlatives:  The longest race ... the deepest dirt ... the biggest odds ... the fastest time ... the most impressive pedigree. 

It’s a game of numbers:  Of the approximately 26,000 possible contestants born annually to do this, only 20 of them in any given year will even receive the chance to try. 

Over all of the years and from among all of those eligible, only 11 others have actually done it. Since 1978, 12 others have tried only to fail in their third and final attempt. 

Thirty-six years. That’s two and half centuries in dog years. In the horse world, it’s a lifetime. In fact, 36 years is two or three lifetimes in the horse world.

Thirty-six years. That’s how long it’s been since we’ve rejoiced over a Triple Crown winner in horse racing. That’s a couple of lifetimes full of anticipation. That’s a couple of lifetimes in which an entire industry has begun to fade ... in which the fantasy and appeal of the sport of kings has dimmed.

However, in a world where winners are determined by fractions of a second, five weeks seems to be all the time we need to simply believe again.

Five weeks.  That’s how long it’s been since hope was rekindled. Five weeks since California Chrome, a horse whose backstory defies all the odds, began doing what no horse has done in decades. 

He’s made the nation pay attention. He’s made us want to believe.

Sure. There have been 12 others that have given horse racing fans pause in the last 36 years. But, few – if any - have had a story worthy of a made-for-TV movie. None have given rise to rap videos by school kids. None have inspired us with the one thing this unlikely hero actually seems to have going for him...

His heart. A tremendous, tremendous heart. And the ability to run on nothing but that heart.

California Chrome’s heart doesn’t know any of the following:

.... That winning the Triple Crown is an uber long shot even with the best of pedigrees and utmost planning. A shot most would have said this horse never had.

... That his mom was considered unspectacular at best and a dumbass investment of $8,000 at worst.

... That his dad is an unknown in which few have put much stock.

.... That his owners are neither sheiks nor billionaires and were considered stupid for taking the chance.

.... That he hails from a state not known for producing big-name stakes winners.

.... That his trainer isn’t an industry golden boy but rather is an unassuming man, long in the tooth, whose last real Derby experience was nearly 60 years ago as an exercise rider.

.... That his jockey has a dismal record at Belmont.

.... That history says the odds simply are not in his favor.

California Chrome doesn’t know any of that.  None of it is in his heart.

He doesn’t know that what he’s being asked to do is akin to catching lightning in a bottle.  Some might say he doesn’t know that an entire nation will be pulling for him to do just that ... capture that lightning.  Not me.  I say that a horse running on that much heart absolutely will feel what is in the nation’s heart.

Will that be enough?

Only time will tell. 

But I think that, if we all believe, the time just might be now. The horse just might be California Chrome.

And whose heart won’t sing with the addition of a just little more chrome in their lives?

Cool Kids Don't Need Someone Else to Establish a Beat

Nothing like a big controversy offering up mean-spirited sound bytes from a vilified CEO to remind more than half of us in the mid-life adult population just why we hated middle school or junior high.

First, let me say, I believe in capitalism.  I don’t think that any company should be forced to produce or offer any goods outside of its plan, beyond its wheelhouse or that it can’t sell to its target market.  A good company knows its audience.

With that said though, clearly there are some people just so insanely insensitive that they shouldn’t go out in public, let alone run those companies like that.

You could be living under a rock if you’ve missed the flap over a certain mall-based clothing store (which means you probably aren’t reading this blog either).  For reasons that escape me, some fairly older, ridiculously insensitive comments by this chain’s CEO are currently causing a stir.  These aren’t new comments, but they are certainly making news right now.

What did this opinionated leader allegedly say to a magazine a few years back? (Note, I am not printing his name or that of the publication. Frankly, I don’t need to give them any free promotion.)

"In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids," Mr. So & So supposedly told such & such magazine.  "Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes], and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely."

Who knows whether this was taken out of context? Regardless of the context, the reason any CEO would spout such rhetoric doesn’t actually escape me at all.  Hello … Marketing 101.  How much free publicity has X Brand store received in the last 10 days?   Boo-ya! Or maybe, Cha-ching… straight from the cash register.

This company has a defined market.   That market is made up of people of a certain size. That market is made up of young people.   Those things are no real surprise.  Most successful retailers do have their own demographics.  Lane Bryant sells clothing for plus-sized women.  Men’s Warehouse isn’t exactly selling clothes for 3 yr. old ballerinas.

But you don’t hear the bigwigs at Men’s Warehouse belittling female toddlers for not being the right size, shape or gender to wear their clothes.  Or, Lane Bryant execs saying rude things about skinny 20 year-old men, which is why I don’t mind the names of these stores here at all.  Not all companies need leaders blathering on to promote their products.  Instead they have other well-reasoned marketing plans.

THAT is the difference and the REAL story here.

The market for the store in the controversy undoubtedly contains a fair number of impressionable parrots who will take the attitude of the poorly spoken CEO to heart. After all, that is exactly how 7^th grade bullies … I mean popular kids… roll.  And, those kids just usually steam roll right through high school and into college.  Who doesn’t remember those “cool kids” from middle school?  We all experienced them. (Well, if you didn’t, that means you were probably one of them.) And, most of us didn’t like them all that well. And, frankly, many of us wouldn’t trade places with many of those kids as today’s grown-ups, even if they were “all that” back in the day.

Which is why we’re raising our daughters to walk the middle ground.  These girls frankly have already defined themselves as “cool.”  Actually, I think my soon-to-be-freshman girl prefers to say, “’Cuz I’m just awesome like that.”

These girls have a bevy of friends. And, I’m proud to say that these friends come from all walks of life.  My children are comfortable speaking to adults and will not ignore adults as some in the current popular ranks of junior high students are wont to do.  I’m not sure how it happened, but these girls are comfortable in their own skin.  Our pastor recently complimented our 14 year old’s poise and presence.  She called our daughter a good kid.  And, she saluted us as parents for raising her that way. Shhh … don’t tell Pastor Janet, but I don’t know how much of K’s ability to impress adults has anything to do with us.  I think we just happened to win the parent lottery.

These girls are bright and droll and can be wicked funny.  They have kick-ass attitudes … well … most of the time. Let’s face it, they are 11 and 14, and all kids that age, especially girls, have crappy attitudes some times. It comes with the territory. 

Know what kids with good heads on their shoulders call the people in Mr. CEO’s preferred market?  “Perps.”  Yep, short for perpetrators.  Not everyone thinks the popular kids are all that.  Apparently, not every middle school girl aspires to be the kind of person in Mr. CEO’s preferred market, even if they are the right size.

How cool is that?

Here’s some of what my girls have had to say about Mr. So & So:

-“Man, that dude’s old.”

-“Has he looked in a mirror lately? ‘Cuz he kinda scares me.”

-“That’s not a cool thing to say.”

But, the best is this comment from my 14 year old,   “There’s a reason I like Hollister, Aeropostale and Charlotte Russe better.”

Are you paying attention Mr. So & So?

Cool is in the eye of the beholder.  And you clearly don’t pass the test among some of the coolest kids I know.  Remember, pretty soon, your currently cool shopping demographic will get older, put on weight and become middle aged. Then, they won’t be suitable customers for your chain’s “cool” products. 

Let’s hope Marketing 101 doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass.  You might gain some sales now but don’t count on kids like mine to be your customers in 10 years. 

Frankly, they are smarter than that, which is the ultimate in cool.  ‘Cuz they are just awesome like that.

Truth Is … Writing is the Scariest Thing Ever

I recently read some truths about writing.

Truth is … these aren’t my original thoughts.  These words, however, do speak to my own feelings, feelings I wrongly assumed were original – and limited - to me. Turns out, however, that other aspiring writers must harbor some of these same feelings.

Truth is… these thoughts aren’t my original words because I’m not particularly geared to produce this type of writing.  Still, these words by Joe Bunting on thewritepractice.com express my feelings so perfectly that might as well have penned them:

The Truth About Your Story

-“You will never be ready to write your story.”

-“You will never have enough time.”

-“The fear won’t go away.”

-“It’s time to stop making excuses for yourself. It’s time to come out of hiding.”

-“Your story was meant to be shared. What are you waiting for?”

Bunting’s words speak to my fears.  More importantly, they call out my excuses.

Truth is … words like this than inspire seem to come along at the right time to motivate me. While they may not fully motivate me to action, at least they keep me from totally abandoning my dream.

Truth is, however, I am unable to embrace these words of wisdom and truly live them. 

Truth is, I am still scared to jump off into the unknown when it comes to my writing ideas.   Oh, I write daily. I turn out items such as press releases, business profiles, testimonials, events coverage and pitch letters without so much as a second thought.

But, pursue my ideas for a book?  I procrastinate, dither and avoid. I understand that failing to act is an action in and of itself.  No words – not even the ones from Bunting to which I repeatedly return - have yet propelled me past my own fears.

What if no wants to read it?  What if someone becomes upset that I gave voice to the subject matter? Really, how do I possibly think I’d be qualified to tackle this subject?  

Truth is, those are the questions I struggle with daily.  Somehow, though, I keep returning to Bunting’s final query….

“Your story was meant to be shared. What are you waiting for?”

Truth is, that’s a pretty good question. Truth is, I don’t really know.

Trying Not to Strike a Sour Note

"… ’A gift isn't a gift if it's an obligation,’ say etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh. …”

“You only have so much free time.”

I recently read those words in an article on CNN.com. They continue to bounce around in my head as I struggle not to feel guilty about no longer always being at everyone else’s beck and call.  After years of volunteering for as much as possible, contributing to as much as possible, helping out committees of which I am not even a member and generally being immediately accessible to answer questions, dole out advice and more, learning to say no has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced.

But why?

If you are a serial over-committer, you probably lack the simple skill of being able to say no.  You feel bad about not helping.  You don’t want to make others mad.  You avoid conflict whenever possible.  Saying “sure, I’ll help you out” is the way around all of those negatives. 

When you begin to refocus your priorities, if you are like me, you feel incredibly guilty.  Learning to say “no” after years of always saying yes is no mean feat.  And, if you are like me, choosing to invest time in something such as getting healthy, working out, redirecting financial priorities or following a lifelong dream may just seem selfish. 

I’m struggling to remember it isn’t.  It has been helpful to recognize that some of the snarky reactions I receive when I say “no, I’m sorry, I won’t be able to take that on” are based on other people’s own selfishness.  Others don’t like to have their time and their priorities cut into.  Therefore, we over-committers need to remember that these same folks don’t seem to have a problem cutting into our time and priorities.

Each day on this new journey is a challenge. Here are some of the tools and thoughts I try to incorporate as the map and traffic signs of this new journey.

Prioritize.   For me, prioritizing means more than simply juggling all the balls in the air.  Sometimes, you have to learn to put yourself first. That may mean taking a few balls out of the rotation. Trouble is … if you’ve always responded with “sure, I’ll help you out” or if you’ve always run here or there because that is what works in someone else’s schedule, people just expect you to continue to do it. 

Remember Nancy Reagan.  Her drug prevention slogan was pretty simple:  “Just say no!”  Practice “no, thank you.”  It’s simple enough.  But, it’s still hard.  Remember the adage:  practice makes perfect.

Remember, saying “no” is not mean.  It is not selfish. Opting out of a task that will have costs may mean you are finally putting your family’s finances first.  Politely declining to add to your workload means you are simply making time for other activities.  Sometimes these priorities are parts of life others simply take for granted. After all, if others have no problem going to sleep at regular times or think having family meals is a normal part of life, then why shouldn’t you? Your health should be just as important to you as theirs is to them.  Remember, your family wants you to participate in their lives, to engage with them … just as other people’s families do.  If the people asking you for output aren’t taking “work” to Saturday morning soccer games, then why on earth should they be allowed to overburden you to the point where you have to?

Put yourself first.  If everyone else can, why can’t you?  If someone else thinks his or her schedule is more important, then you shouldn’t feel guilty if you start to finally place some importance on your own schedule.

Have a schedule.  Keep a calendar handy.  Note the time you need for things you want to accomplish – from making a family meal to having time for daily exercise.  Put everything on your calendar.  The next time someone asks you for something, say, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”  Then do just that. Taking time to look at your calendar that already has all the little boxes crammed full gives you perspective. 

Set “volunteer hours.”  When people call you for something, let them know that you’ll be happy to speak to them during your regular volunteer time.  Set a time.  Put it on your calendar.  If you stop always being available instantaneously, perhaps people will stop always taking advantage. Remember, you don’t need to make everyone else’s priority your own!  After all, these people do not care about your priorities. 

To do just that – keeping to my schedule – I’ve found it helpful to keep this little ditty in the back of my mind:

“Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

Repeat.

Repeat repeatedly as needed.

Remember also that respect is a two-way street.  If you are disrespected over and over by those to whom you have given much, then walk away.  They can learn to do it themselves. 

You only get one life.  If everyone else wants to keep their own priorities, then learn to tell them "no" so you can keep to your own.  No one is going to get healthy for you.  No one can spend time with your family for you.  No one can sleep for you.  But, you can learn to make those things your own priority. 

Re-read.  Repeat.  Repeat repeatedly until you are able to ... finally .... just say "No."

Laying Down Important Countermelodies

"All you have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to you."

  ~ Gandalf in "The Fellowship of the Ring"

Clearly, I need to work on that.  Or, do I?

Earlier this year, I made a commitment to do more writing for myself.  Not the kind I get paid for necessarily. Although, more of that would be nice, too.  I had planned to write as a way to stretch my skills, keep myself focused and remind myself of my goals and plans.  Perhaps I might create some pieces along they way that would serve to inspire, at least myself if not others.

Yet, my last post here was more than 11 weeks ago.  Have I fallen prey to that very problem I wanted this blog to help me avoid?  I’m not sure what to call that problem.  Complacency?  Sloth?

If there is an underlying issue that held my writing here back, it’s probably rooted in more fear than I care to admit.  Fear that no one will read. Fear that I have nothing to say.  Fear that I’m not good enough.  Clearly, I need to address those fears.

Still, I don’t know that the last 11 weeks have been time wasted. I’ve actually committed some of my time to other important aspects of self-care.  I am seeing solid results related to those goals.  I know these efforts will ultimately support the professional writing and involvement goals I made for 2013.

So, maybe I haven’t missed Gandalf’s point at all.  Maybe the point was that it was finally time to decide to commit MY time to myself and MY priorities.  This has been a year of deciding to make myself a priority. While I’ve not written here for 11 weeks, I have done other professional writing and made notable strides in improving other areas of myself.   It’s funny that those efforts are now leading me back to my original writing goals. 

Perhaps, what Gandalf didn’t say was that deciding what to do with your time might actually be a process.  It does feel a bit like an unknown journey when you’ve spent many, many years letting others dictate what you should do with your own time.

Maybe what I’ve been doing for the last 11 weeks is laying down some nice back beat or counter melody that will ultimately let me better share the cadence that is in my head.   

Only time will tell.  I better get on making some decisions about what to do with that time.

For Wont of a Nice Notepad and a Wide-Armed Chair Instead of a Desk

I recently read somewhere that there just might be studies around showing that writers create differently depending on whether they are typing or writing by hand. 

Our trusty computers.  Oh, how we have become dependent upon them.  I catch myself marveling at the speed with which my fingers have come to fly over the keyboard. I delight in, that with just a few strokes, I can quickly change a thought, erase a typo or correct a grammar error.

I am quick to turn to an online dictionary or thesaurus. I think their ready availability is a boon to my writing.

Or, is it?

Now, with thoughts of some unknown study results sneaking into my consciousness, I wonder: have I forgotten how to write freely, never worrying about mistakes, not tempted to research a substitute word?

I don’t know. However, I think I just might try my own non-scientific study. Perhaps I’ll do some writing by hand, either with real work assignments or practice exercises or maybe both.  After all, Laura Ingles Wilder wrote the “Little House” series by hand in pads of paper she balanced on the extra-wide wood arms of the chair Almonzo made for her.  A chair specifically for her writing.  A chair I now covet.

I may share my different samples with my readers and let them judge whether I create differently.

Of course, I will have to type them first.

And, darn, I’d be lying if I didn’t say such a two-step process seems like a waste of time.

I wonder, is there a study